Thursday, December 8, 2016
Some people come up with a word for the new year.
Unknowingly it seems that I have a scripture for the last three years.
So much that I had one put on a necklace, and one verse
became a constant comfort that a friend gave to me.
This year has surely been a new season.
I am talking uprooting weeds, shaking some wheat and chaff.
Pruning sheers all over the place.
The soil of my heart tilled, broken, and new seeds planted.
New plants blooming with beauty that I never knew the
Lord had in store for me.
"In his heart a man plans his course,
but the Lord determines his steps."
No thats not my verse for 2018. But man has it also been true for last year.
Things I said I would never do (ahem, marriage).
The dynamics of the house changing, as it always changes with new
people, and now a new totally different dynamic, as I have an amazing
husband, and the kids have a father figure.
Life has changed so much across the Ocean, and I get bits and pieces of it
and my heart grieves, longs, aches. Yet it seems my roots have
dug pretty deep into the volcanic soil of my little Rwanda village.
Not much has remained consistent. Financially (which we totally get,
sometimes people who partner have life happen, and cannot continue. We
totally get that! Life happens a lot to us. So we get when life happens to others too!)
And we continue to pray for all those who encourage us, and partner with us, in prayer,
financially, and other ways.
Starting a new program, has been such a learning process, and leaves my head spinning.
As sometimes I sit in the middle of a pile of files, budgets, numbers, order lists,
a calculator, big prayers, and checking and double checking to see if all the
donations came through for that month.
I dont know how to explain, but lots of places that once felt solid,
no longer do. And new places, I never knew existed, foundations are being laid.
It really has been a new season, new gardens, and lets be honest some
new fears and new hurts and new losses and new gains!
You see though. I dont so much like all this change. I am the one who loves me
schedule, loves routine, loves predictable. (and how in the world I ended up
as a missionary in Rwanda, Lord knows. He must use broken vessels, because
let me tell you I am a broken sinful lover of Jesus, clinging to him like a toddler
who doesn't want his mom to leave them at daycare!)
And as the soil is so freshly tilled and turned in my heart.
And I look back at old foundations, that lie in crumbled ruins at my feet.
As I look at the mountains around me, and know the Lord is able.
As I look at how the Lord has continued to fulfill his promises to put
the lonely in families, how he has made the barren women a happy mother in the home.
As I look at the seeds of new fruits, new seasons, new harvest.
1 Chronicles 16:11
"Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always."
"Mushake Uwiteka n'imbaragaze, Mushake mu maso he iteka ryose."
Anyone want to put that verse on a bracelet or necklace, seriously
let me know. (The verses I wear now from the last two years are Psalms 116:7 and Joshua 1:9)
Here we go Lord, a new year quickly approaches, and I yield it to you.
I yield the harvest, I yield the fresh turned and tilled broken soil of my heart.
I yield my family, my time, my hurts, my healing.
My strength will never get me through, your strength is sufficent, in fact
you say your strength is made perfect in my weakness.
I am weak, I am broken, I am yielded, I am at your feet.
Not my will Lord, but your be done.
I will seek your face always.
For you are good, and your strength is sufficient.
Your mercy is new everyday.