Thursday, March 20, 2014

Swirling thoughts on new life

The first day of spring. Spring. New life. The cold starts to melt away, the ground softens, the air warms, the sun is brighter, the days longer, the ground fertile, and new life begins to spring forth. I learned on the Bouffard farm as well, that this is the season when the sheep and goats start to give birth as well. It seems like everything starts to burst forth in new life. Though I find myself in a country so close to the equator, I get to skip the cold and snow part.
Today holds such signifigance to me. There are some days, that are engraved in your brain. Today was the day that mom was born into the world, and also the day that my 13 month old nephew was promoted to eternity in 2000. Two very signifigant lives to me. I cant help but find my thoughts wander to them. Holding Cameron, and also walking across that funeral home to the tiny casket. Rubbing his skin, because even though I knew he was not there anymore, I couldnt stand to hold my nephew so cold in my arms. It makes me think of my mom. I find lately in the last year I think of her often. I wonder if she would just freak out that I am living on the other side of the world. I wonder what she would think. When she died and I held her hand, and saw her eyes look past me before walking into eternity. I know where she is right now. I dont know how that goes up there. I dont think though that the look down on us. (This is just my thoughts and feelings).
Because to me, if I was faced with God. GOD. A God so big that merely his robe can fill the temple. A God who is justice, hope, love, holy, and righteous. I know I would probably want to look at nothing less than the one who knit me together, knows and holds all things. So from time to time, I just ask the Lord to tell her how her little girl is doing. Her "caboose". It draws my mind back, to sitting next to her hospital bed, so in tune with her every breath, as she was ushered closer and closer to eternity. Dipping sponges in watermelon juice and wetting her lips. The nights she woke up at 3:00am, and had the most lucid amazing conversations. I was so glad I got to be there, next to her bed, and have our middle of the night chats. Still the tv fixed on the news.
New life. Eternal life. When all else fades away, and new life bursts forth. I think on my nephew too. I wonder sometimes about his personality. I wonder if he would have been soft spoken or loud. Into sports, or arts. I look forward to the day that I can really get to know him in eternity someday.
Spring. Today is the first day of spring. And my soul and heart grapple with new life. I think on them being ushered into eternity. I ask the Lord to pass on little messages to my mom. And as Easter approaches, my heart is drawn to hope. Because He has conquered, and my God is alive.
Yeah, just thinking on the keyboard today. Miss you mom and Cameron. Cannot wait someday to meet you on the streets of gold. To bow before our creator together. And as my heart dwells on the new life, the new life available to all of us, the new life we can choose everyday in Christ. I am thankful. I am thankful for tiny nephews you can get to know in eternity. I am thankful for 3:00am conversations on hospital beds. I am thankful for eyes that dance as you hold your mothers hand as she walks into eternity.
Happy Birthday mom, and happy eternal promotion day Cameron. Love you both so much! <3

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17

Update on Alice as well- She had surgery yesterday is doing well. We don't really know anything yet. We had some Dr's come and ask some more questions, but we are still waiting on the surgeons to come in and talk to us. But she is good, walking around, and watching French movies. So I am totally lost. ;) They know waaaay too many languages. 

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