Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Dont think, just jump!

Here I stand at the deep end of the pool. Unfamiliar ground. My toes dangle and wiggle off the edge. I am not sure what will happen once I jump off the edge. I am not sure where this will find me, once I plunge. I know once I do jump, it is done. Like braving yourself up for some adventure like sky diving or white water rafting. You tell yourself you just have to it. Don't think. Dont rationalize. Dont list fears. Dont list possibilities.Dont think. Do it! Just take a deep breath and GO! You know once you are in midair. Once you sit in that boat. And you push off and the water is pulling you toward your first rapid. There is no changing. There is no turning back. Just take a deep breath, and jump. In things like this even in my spiritual life. I can not let my rational side be the dominate part. I can not let myself think too long on it.

I have already had to trust so much more in my heavenly Father than ever before. This trip has already plunged me far out of my comfort zones than ever before. This trip has made me shake in my boots, fall to my knee's, and take many deep breaths and jump. And now, its almost time, to jump right into the deep end. I have never done anything like this before. I have had to struggle and wrestle with my flesh. I have had to take thoughts captive and make them obedient. God has been so patient and quiet the gentleman through this whole process. Me constantly beakoning for more reassurance. And Him reassuring and confirming in ways my mind could not have thought up!

Come on daughter. No, you don't need a life jacket. I command the waters, and I created all things. I am here to catch you. To dive deep with you. I have called you to these waters. Just close your eyes, take a breath, and jump!

Ready.....

set.................

JUMP!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

fresh new pages ahead!

Chapters open, chapter close.
I have been in a extremely reflective, anxious (as in excited anxious, not worried anxious), expectent, grevious, and hopefully mood lately. Yep, that is a whole lot in one!! I stand at the beginning of a new road. Or, as my heart has been seeing it, a new chapter. And right now, I have yet to take those first steps, a few things, are still being finished in the old chapters. A few periods, exclaimation marks, dotting a few i's, and crossing a few t's. But, I look forward, and see these fresh, blank pages, with so much potential! And I am torn a bit. Torn between the security and predictability of the past, and the excitement and possibility of the future.

So, God keeps asking me. . . . . . . .

"What will you write in this new chapter? What will you fill these pages with?"

And my prayer, is wherever God ends up leading me, taking me. Wherever he calls me, that I write the story of his saving grace, transforming power, and incredible freedom all over it. That the story I would write on these new chapters, would be of Him in me and through me. That it would reflect His heart.

Pastor Tom, preached his farewell sermon the other day. He talked about fruit. Those things we do, because of Christ in us, that has eternal value. That God can take that and say "this is good. This has eternal value." And that is what I want in this next chapter. This next season. As with the changing of the actual seasons, you can smell the change of the air. I can smell the change of the season of my life. I can smell the fresh blank pages.

And God continues to prompt me....

"Beloved daughter, will you write of me? Will you write our love story? Will you write my love for all you meet? Will you tell them? Tell them how I long for them? How I created them, to have relationship with them, tell them how there beautiful, and I, the God the whole universe desires them? The next chapter is blank, beloved. What are you going to write? You have the choice to yeild your will to mine, and allow me to interupt in a big way! Will you yeild?"

Yes, Lord. I yeild. And can not wait for the next chapter of our love story. For your love is great, powerful, and true. And I am captivated by you. As you created me to be. You fulfill me. I yeild Lord. Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Is that you Lord?

Wow, here it is February. But let me take you back to about September, that's where this journey to Africa started.


One day chasing Grace and Chase around the house, the random thought popped into my head. "I want to do this for children who would never get this!" But I offered up a quick prayer for those children, and just kept loving on the two right in front of me! For some reason, orphans continually kept coming into my mind! I would rock one of the toddlers and sing to them before laying them down for naps. And I would be in tears thinking of the orphans who never get the kisses on their foreheads. The babies there just isn't enough staff members to hold them, to rock them, to squeeze them tight. Still, I just offered up a few tearful prayers, and continued on.

Apparently I was not listening to what the Lord was prompting in my heart! For a couple months, this just grew so strong and passionately in my heart. The thought popped into my head a couple times, to go and love on them. But who am I? How could I go? Would that even be possible? More prayers, more prayers, and more prayers. It had even gotten to a point a couple times I woke up with it so heavy on my mind and heart, within a minute of waking I was in tears, and praying to the Lord on orphans behalf. Still, the desire to go, the passion for the orphans got stronger and stronger. Still I thought, But who am I? How could I go? Would that even be possible?


Finally one day, I figured I would seek council on this. (gee, took long enough!) and I called my head pastor. Of course, it was one of those crazy days. Lunch was burning on the stove, the babies were crying, and my cell rings. Of course it was pastor calling me back. But this had been growing so much in my heart that I had to answer. I had to seek council on this! So I just blurted out without a breath between "I wanna go to a underdeveloped country and work in a orphanage!!!" In which I got the reply "Why don't we set up a meeting and you come in and we can talk about this." Hmmm... not the answer I was looking for. As this had been months and months this had been pressing so heavy on me. In nursery, at work (nanny), it just was so passionate in my heart at that time! I wanted to hear something then and there, that would give me some profound wisdom and help me know some kind of purpose or plan or if this was just some silly thought coming into my head. I guess its good that didn't happen. It caused me to seek the Lord all the more harder, press in all the more forcefully, passionately, desperately, and just famished to have some answers.

So that's what I did! I had some time off work, it was the week after Christmas. So I took 3 of those days, and decided to stay at my apartment, and seek the Lord on this! I wrestled with reality, pro's, con's. I wrestled with if now that I had began thinking of going, what if I heard wrong and the answer was "no". I worked through the Fasting For Spiritual Breakthrough book, and did the Paul fast. After about two days into the fast, I found the website www.visitingorphans.org

This is exactly where my heart was! I didn't feel my gifting or talent or what the Lord was pressing on my heart was to go and hammer and nail and build a house somewhere for someone. Or any of that. I wanted something personal, loving on orphans.

The next week I had a meeting with my pastor after Womens bible study. I went to church that day armed with my study, my journal, websites, and my bible. And the doors just kept opening. Lord, are you really opening the doors for ME to go to Africa and love on these orphans?! I kept my heart in check, and knew that if the door opens or closes that my heart will bless the Lord. We were studying Kings at the time in bible study, and I almost wanted to go lay a cloth outside and go "Ok Lord, if this is dry and the ground is wet, this is you. Ok, dont get mad Lord, but if this is you Lord, then the cloth is wet and the ground is dry." And my heart was encouraged when in study we talked about questioning if something is from the Lord.

Everything was checking out. Even to my boss and friend out of no where offering to buy my passport. Confirmations where coming from all over the place. I applied and the same day I applied I got my passport in the mail. :)

I am so excited!!! This has been on my heart for so long. It has pressed me so much closer to the Lord. And before even going on this trip, the Lord has given me a heart and passion for orphans.So I hope this blog can keep you right alongside for the ride! I will do my best to post blogs and pictures while in Africa, I will post updates on where I am on raising funds, I will also be auctioning/selling two Irish chain quilts that I am making to raise money for the trip! I am excited to see what God does. And hopefully, God will press on you to pray for orphans and widows. Its the most powerful thing we can do! To fall to our knee's before the throne of grace on someones behalf. Will you go to the throne on there behalf today?

God is so good!!!

This is my James 1:27 trip!! And I hope you can follow along for the ride. :) Below is more detailed information on my trip and how to donate.

Yours in Christ,
Tina


James 1:27a "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress"

I have a amazing opportunity in my life to go on a missions trip to Africa in August. This trip will be from August 7th-18th. The team I am on will be visiting orphanages in two African countries: Rwanda and Ethiopia.

In Rwanda, our team will stay in Kigali at the Presbyterian Church Guest Home. We will be working with the Village of Peace Orphanage and a ministry to street kids named The Best Boys. Our team to Kigali will also be working with other orphanages and ministries to impoverished children.

In Ethiopia, we will be working in partnership with Project 61's Ministry, which reaches out to the children who live and work in the city dump. We will also visit children in 2 or 3 different orphanages throughout Addis Ababa.

This 11 day missions trip is organized by a Christian non-profit ministry called Visiting Orphans. This ministry organizes trips for Christian groups to visit orphanages all over the world. You can learn more at their website http://www.visitingorphans.org/

I am hoping that you will partner with me in prayer, encouragement, and financial support. Please be praying for my team to have unity and safe travels, to remain healthy, communicate God's love to the children we meet, and that God will teach us more about Himself during our time together.

The cost for me to attend this trip is $3,600. This amount includes all of my travels, lodging, meals, and translators. Once I have reached my goal, any additional money raised on my behalf will go to orphanage donation during my trip. The money is due to Visiting Orphans by May 7th, 2011.

If you are able to financially support me, you can do so by credit card or check.

To donate by credit card, go to http://www.visitingorphans.org/ and click on the "Donate" in the upper right hand corner. Under "Gift Designation", specify "August 7-18, 2011 Ethiopia/Rwanda Trip". Under "Would you like to designate this donation to a specific team member?", click "Yes". When the box opens that asks for "Team Member's Name", enter my name (Tina Zielke).

To donate by check, send it to Visiting Orphans, P.O. Box 668, Nolensville, TN 37135 along with a note listing my name (Tina Zielke) and the trip I will be a part of (August 7-18, 2011 Ethiopia/Rwanda Trip).

If you have any questions concerning donations, please email me at TheNannyTina@gmail.com or call me at (315) 532-3367.

I am currently working on two irish chain quilts. Once finished I will auction/sell these to raise money for my trip. Please watch for these as they will be coming soon! :)